The pause between.

Many of you know that my Mother has been suffering from Alzheimer's Disease for several years.  At the beginning of the year her condition deteriorated enough to require 24 hour nursing care, and she was admitted to hospital, later transferred to a nearby nursing home.  over the last two or three months she has steadily slipped further away, and now she is almost at the end of her earthly journey. We have now returned to the mainland, summoned by the phone call we dreaded, to be with her in her last days.

Plans have been put on hold for now.  The trip to Wales for our nephew's wedding this coming weekend has been cancelled, as has the subsequent visit to the Centre for Alternative Technology.  New outfits and shoes will remain in the wardrobe, and crofting is a world away.

And so we wait in that pause between breaths, the calm space between the waves.  Relieved that her struggle of the last years are almost over for her, but sad that we will no longer have her presence.  We sit round her bed, chatting, playing her favourite music and reminiscing, hoping that somehow she can hear us.  We bring sweet smelling oils to soothe her,  James and Finlay play on the floor beside her bed and we wait and watch.  For so long we have rehearsed this, but now, as we approach the stage, it is different - it is real - it is not someone else - it is our Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Wife, Sister, Mother-in law, friend - still here with us,  but waiting on that shore xx