Hello...

Hello.
I knew at the beginning of the year that I wanted to let go of the blog. I am in a different place now and I need the space to work through a great many things. I intend to keep the archives up for a time, although I have removed the comment function.
If you have landed here - welcome and feel free to dip in to what was our life - once upon a time...
J xxx

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Constancy and change


It has been a long time - a lost time, really. So much happening, and yet nothing much has changed. The sun still rises and sets and the rain falls - sometimes even at the same time!



The tide rises and falls, and the waves crash in - each one leaving its own unique, elusive pattern, yet the eternal rhythm beats on.
There is such a comfort in the constancy of nature - the reassuring optimism of each new day -  of every new wave breaking on the shore. Such  relentless hope...




There have been a few setbacks. An emergency admission to hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, and a subsequent pulmonary embolism meant that John's chemotherapy regime was delayed. Thankfully he has now recovered and is back on track with his treatment - one more cycle to go. A preliminary scan shows that the spinal tumour has shrunk, the lung lesion has not grown, and the disease appears to be "stable". Rain followed by sunshine ... and flowers still bloom in the garden.



Tomatoes grow and ripen, despite my neglectful stewardship. Sungold cherry is a clear winner - little bombs of pure sweetness lighten up this dark time.  



My trusty travelling companion - another constant feature in my life. Funny how animals just know... and he certainly does. I am glad he is here, with that unconditional gaze.
We didn't get Independence. Such a disappointment. I was genuinely shocked at how grief stricken I was after the result. All those hopes - dashed. Forty-five percent of us voted for Scotland to become an independent nation - so close. I am still upset, but I believe we will get there one day - soon.


So - it may be low tide right now, but, you know, soon enough the surf will come sweeping up over the beach, obliterating our footprints, creating the shoreline anew. There is such hope in that thought - solace in the constancy of change. xx

29 comments:

  1. Take time to rest now, after all your hard work, if you can. And refresh yourself in nature which surrounds you. And remember that you are all loved and supported by this, your virtual community, and your real one(s).

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  2. Time trudges on. Seasons will change and yes, the rain will fall. I am keeping you all in my prayers. Your trusty travelling companion looks like he could certainly take charge. I too watched the unfolding of the polls with anticipation - wondering if my grandfather was still alive, how disappointed he'd be that Independence was not reached.

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  3. I couldn't say it any better than Carolyn. love and hugs.

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  4. Always in my prayers Jacqui. I thought of you when I read the voting results and knew you would be crushed, I'm so sorry. Hugs to you and keep moving forward, there are wonderful times ahead.

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  5. Hugs and prayers to you and yours...echoing Tracey's thoughts and am enjoying fall tomatoes along with you. A saying comes to mind..."the more things change, the more they stay the same." So thankful that through it all we can rest in the One whose love never fails or changes. xo Lisa :)

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  6. Such a poignant but so beautiful post Jacqui. You are often in my thoughts and prayers and I am glad that you are surrounded by such beauty . Lots of love and virtual hugs Penny Lxxxx

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  7. A beautiful heartfelt post. You and your family are always in my prayers and I think of you often. Sending lots of love xxx

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  8. Sending you big hugs during this season of your lives. Although we have different views on independence, I did think of you on the 19th, knowing how disappointed you would be. I hope and pray we can all become united in what we do agree on. Much love to you all, and I'm glad to hear that the chemo is working in spite of some setbacks. Wishing John strength in body and mind. xxx

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  9. I too thought of you on the 19th. Carolyn has some wise words that I couldn't put any better.

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  10. such beautiful photos!

    i thought of you when i heard the results....i was quietly disappointed myself and knew how hard you'd worked for a yes vote.

    whenever i'm at 'low tide', nature always has a way of reminding me of the never-ending cycle of things....ebb and flow...same, but different.

    i wish you well -- and hold you all in my prayers.

    xoxo

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  11. You may be grief stricken at the "No" result but I can tell you the "Yes" supporters have treated the "No" supporters appallingly and caused much grief. Perhaps you were unaware of such events in your corner of Scotland.

    What a Scotland would that be if there had been a "Yes" decision, in the run up to the vote there has been all manner of crimes committed against the "No" supporters, to the extent that people were afraid to publicly show that they were to vote No. Arson, intimidation, bullying and violence. Not the sort of Scotland I would want to live in. My English relatives who have lived peaceably in Scotland for over 30 years were hounded out of their homes, afraid to return. They still do not feel safe and are still being intimidated.

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  12. Jacqui, I have been thinking of you and your family, and was glad to see this post from you. At this time of the year when sunlight's arc begins its autumn show, I am reminded of the truly remarkable series of photographs that you shared with us in the past.

    And so, your beginning this post with the sun was very welcome.

    I am sorry about the setbacks. As ever, I am inspired by your approach to what the season's bring, and hope to learn a bit from you.

    Best wishes. xo

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  13. Your family is often in my thoughts, from far away. Lois

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  14. Thankful John has rallied, what a frightening time that must have been for you all. So glad you can find strength in that incredible land of yours. Aren't dogs the best? Love and hugs, Laurie

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  15. thank you for the update, I think I see tiny steps forward as the two of you travel together on this life's challenge. I will continue to pray for you, john and your son. May god be with you.

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  16. Glad things are back on track, hope the progress continues. Pleased that you have your dog with you, they are such a comfort, with the constant unquestioning love, what would we do without them.
    Remembering you and your family in my prayers. Barbara. PS> I was gutted about the vote.

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  17. Disappointed that you felt the need to delete my comment. I was speaking of events that happened, regardless of whether the Yes or the No voters were successfull. But it's your blog so if that's your choice......

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    1. Hello Meg. I haven't deleted your comment. I've not been on here since yesterday morning, as my husband has been quite unwell.
      Anyway, I do not share your view of the campaign, which I felt was hugely invigorating and exciting. I was impressed with how vibrant the campaign was among those who do not normally take an interest in political issues - those from poorer and marginalised communities - maybe that was what people found intimidating... I saw incidents of bad behaviour or both sides, but to be honest, most of it seemed to come from the No camp - arson, bullying and death threats. I guess we are not going to agree on this one. I am sorry to hear about your friends, and I hope that the police are dealing with the incident. Best wishes.

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  18. From Margie in Toronto - so sorry to hear of your husband's setbacks but so glad to hear that at least you got some bits of good news and that he is now able to resume his treatments. It must have been exhausting for you all. Also sorry that you were disappointed in the results - even from the other side of the Atlantic I too was disappointed. But you must be proud of accomplishing so much, please remember that. Don't forget to take some time for yourself so that you can remain strong for your family.

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  19. Thank you again, everyone. Unfortunately we have had another setback - more side effects from the chemotherapy, this time affecting his sight. Hopefully we have caught it in time. My goodness it's been a bumpy ride. I appreciate all your prayers xxx

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  20. Stunning pictures. Can't wait to see the place in the flesh! Wishes and strength to you both coming through the ether.

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  21. Had tears in my eyes reading this. Firstly I hope John is improving after the further set backs and that you are all able to have some stress free, relaxing family time. As you know nature has healing powers and surrounded by such beauty can only be a good thing for all at this time. Your pictures are beautiful.
    Secondly the heartbreak I felt at the referendum result was unbelievable so I undersand where you are coming from. Having to tell our eight year old daughter that it was a No result was awful as it was for the future of our children we were fighting for. After the grief we experienced a sense of pride and a renewed vigour. I am so proud to have fought a fight that was peaceful, invigorating, engaging and came from a grassroots level. It was about people not politicians. I am also proud to have stood alongside so many committed and inspiring people in an attempt to make our country a more equal, forward thinking nation where foodbanks are not required and people come before nuclear weapons. I was proud to have stood alongside them and I still am as what this referendum has done has given people the courage to stand up and be heard and Westminster won't be putting us back in the box, we still have a lot to fight for and it will continue to be fought passionately, peacefully and creatively. :)
    Wishing you and your family a peaceful season.
    Claire (lemno living)

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    1. Claire - this was so good to read. I hope you are still involved. I know your area had a strong women's group - we'll get there xxx

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  22. Really beautiful, poignant post, Thinking of you and wishing you brighter days soon. ♥Mo

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  23. Jacqui, wow your pictures are stunning! I love how you captured the light!!! Wonderful! Have been to Scottland twice - and: for sure, a wonderful place with wonderful people!!!
    All my best from Austria and a happy autumn
    Elisabeth

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  24. Jacqui, so lovely to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about John and his health. I love what you said about "comfort in the consistency of nature". I've been realizing again that each day is a gift and we have been given life new and fresh as we daily wake up. blessings on you and your family. Alison

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  25. Such wonderful photos!! I'm glad to see you're back and that your husband is better now. Always in my prayers. Have a beautiful weekend!! xo

    ~ Wendy
    http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/

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  26. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I love Scotland and the Scots and was fearful of what changes would occur if Independence went through. But I just wanted what would make you all happy, and the men in grey always tell lies or make comments without checking with their parties or the legalities of what they say. Never mind chin up and keep boxing on pet. Love Pammy x (The Mackem)

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    1. Thanks Penny - lovely to hear from you. My Granny was a Mackem - it's a while since anyone called me pet :) xxx

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